Live a Better Life by Doing These 2 things
This week’s newsletter focuses on how to live a better life. This can be accomplished by doing two simple things: laughing more and avoiding arguments.
Laugh More and Become a Better Person
I was recently reading the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s book “Thus Spake Zarathustra.” I came across an interesting chapter called “The Higher Man.” Nietzsche describes in this chapter the characteristics of the higher man, or Superman, who might be able to surpass humanity and evolve to a higher level.
What fascinated me about this chapter is that Nietzsche describes various deep and challenging steps to become a higher man, but at the end he lists a step that I wasn’t expecting.
He emphasizes the need of laughter in order to become a higher man. I did not expect that laughter would be one of the characteristics of a higher man. Before this, the other characteristics of a higher man were very serious. It struck me as a paradox.
To quote Nietzsche:
“All good things laugh…This crown of the laughter, this rose-garland crown; to you my brethern do I cast this crown! Laughing have I consecrated; ye higher men, learn, I pray you-to laugh!”
What I gather from that is the need to relax, not always being high-strung, and not to take life too seriously. While much in life can be quite serious, sometimes simply laughing can help to loosen you up. I think laughing can actually be empowering, because it gives you power over life. Laughing gives you the power of choice over being too serious about life. In other words, you have the choice to either take the events in life seriously or in a cheerful manner.
I think a healthy balance between the two could be most helpful. I personally have a tendency to be very serious about life, and I’m trying to laugh a little more to better enjoy my life. Laughing more can be healthier for you as well.
Simplest Way to Win an Argument
A few years-ago I read Dale Carnegie’s book “How To Win Friends and Influence People.” The chapter that stood out to me the most was called You Can’t Win an Argument. In the chapter Carnegie describes the simplest and easiest way to win an argument is by not getting into an argument to begin with. He states that:
“Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.”
I think Carnegie is very accurate with this viewpoint. When I’ve argued with other people, nine times out of ten it never goes well and usually gets worse. It doesn’t matter how much reason, facts, or evidence that I have on my side. Further, the one time out of ten that I may convince someone that I’m actually correct in my argument usually doesn’t get me anything in return.
Carnegie has a simple solution to this:
“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument- and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”
If you argue with someone you run the high risk of upsetting them or turning them off of whatever you have to say. Arguing can destroy relationships or potential relationships, because it usually comes across from a negative viewpoint. People do not want to lose an argument, which is why both parties become further entrenched in their beliefs.
Instead of arguing, you can shift your approach to get your point across. For example, you could ask a question about what the other person thinks or believes to further understand their perspective more. You can then try to relate their perspective to yours to reach a middle-ground. This would become a win-win, rather than a win-lose. A lot of the time, people just want to simply be heard.
I’ve come to realize that a lot of the time people just want to be heard.
References:
Carnegie, Dale (1936). How To Win Friends and Influence People. Gallery Books.
Nietzsche, Friedrich (1885). Thus Spake Zaratustra: A Book for All and None. Wordsworth Editions Limited.