Being Too Well-Mannered Can Be Harmful, Here's How...

You're Too Nice!

Principle of the Too Well-Mannered

Rather on one’s tiptoes

Than crawling on all fours!

Best to peep through keyholes

Than gape at open doors!

-Friedrich Nietzsche, “The Joyous Science”

This is another one of those awesome aphorisms by Nietzsche. He’s able to say an entire book’s full in very few lines.

NICE PEOPLE WALK ON TIPTOES AND PEEP THROUGH KEYHOLES

He’s writing here from the perspective of a well-mannered, or “nice person.” I’ve known the type. I used to be one of those types. In fact, sometimes I’m still one of the “nice guy” types, even though I’m aware of it and know that it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

In fact, you know the type. The “nice person” who doesn’t want to speak out of turn. The “nice person” who goes along to get along. The type of “nice person” who is afraid to put up boundaries whenever everyone else around them knows they need to put up those boundaries.

Rather than going out and opening doors and experiencing the world, well-mannered and nice people would rather look through peep holes out of timidity.

If I never adopted the principled of the well-mannered ever again, it would be too soon.

THE CURE FOR NICENESS

Over the last century or two, we’ve been conditioned to being too nice. In the past, Americans would be very polite to one another. For everyone knew, if someone were to act disrespectful to another a duel to the death may be called by the affronted party. Normally, the duel would entail a sword or firearm. If the disrespectful individual declined the duel, they were now known as a coward and were ridiculed in polite society for starting a fight and backing out.

Generally, this caused most people to be polite in society to one another, as most people did not want to be challenged to a duel to the death.

Case in point, the Alexander Hamilton, the first Federal Reserve Chairman in American history, died as a result of a duel with a politician named Aaron Burr. Hamilton and Burr had a history of conflict, and eventually Burr took offense at comments that Hamilton allegedly made at a dinner party. Burr challenged Hamilton to a duel and Hamilton agreed to the duel. Hamilton was summarily shot and killed by Burr, ending the conflict.

At times, people will be offended if you stand up for yourself. Sometimes, when you go for what you want in life and open up doors, people will think you’re doing too good for yourself. Sometimes being nice isn’t the best decision.

Exhibiting courage and standing up for yourself can go a long way.

Notes:

Alexander Hamilton - Founding Father, Burr Quarrel | Britannica

Nietzsche, Friedrich (1882). Joyous Science. Translated (2018) Hill, Kevin. Penguin Random House